April Fools?
by spacemonkey69
Summary: It all started with Teal'cs icecream...This is the story of Jack's April Fools COMPLETE
1. The Ice Cream

Author's Note: This story came about after my good friend Deanne made me a challenge, which you can see below! I took it all in stride, and am quite proud of the results! This story is not intended to offend anyone, so please don't sue me if you don't like anything! Please R and R! Oh, and Stargate is not my property, although I wouldn't mind having Daniel, Jack ,Teal'c and Davis in my care!

•April fools day and Jack has to play a practical joke on as many well known sg

personnel (e.g sg1, davis, styler, Hammond)

•Some1 has to get revenge

•Daniel has to impersonate davis

•.Sam has to say or do something completely blond

•some1 on base steals teal'cs icecream…..

•Jonas comes to earth and wants to get a job in a fast food place.

"O'NEILL!" Jack winced as he heard the deep voice bellow his name.

"Yes Teal'c?" he asked, turning to face the Jaffa. Teal'c had that murderous look on his face. Jack usually only saw that when they were facing off a Goa'uld. He began to worry. Only one thing, other then the Goa'uld, could make Teal'c this angry.

"My ice cream is gone!" Teal'c roared. Jack cringed. Oh yeah, only one thing. He was in big trouble.

"Your ice cream?" he echoed.

"My ice cream," Teal'c confirmed, taking a step forward. "Some one has taken it!"

"Now, who would do such a thing?" Jack squeaked, backing away slowly.

"That is what I intend to find out," Teal'c glared at Jack for a minute, his jaw clenched tightly. Jack nearly wet himself. This was it, he thought. Teal'c is finally gonna kill me.

"Colonel Reynolds told me that you were the last person he saw near my quarters. Where I keep my ice cream!"

"Reynolds?" Jack exclaimed, plotting the Colonel's demise in his head. Oh yes. Colonel David Reynolds was going to die a horrible death. That is, if Jack survived his friend.

"Indeed," Teal'c snarled. "I am going to ask you once O'Neill: did you take my ice cream?" Jack swallowed noisily. Teal'c could read him like a book. He was so going down.

"I was going to return it," he whispered, cowering from his friend.

"Return it! I require it now!" Teal'c bellowed again, taking another step forward.

"I ate it all," Jack said softly. Teal'c's face grew all the more scary, and he took a few more steps. Suddenly he was in Jack's personal space. Jack closed his eyes, preparing for the pain.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Jack opened his eyes, and looked past the mountain that stood in front of him.

"Danny!" he exclaimed, happier then ever to see his best friend. Teal'c glanced at Daniel, frowning.

"DanielJackson," he said, stepping away. Jack breathed a sigh of relief.

"What's going on?" Daniel quizzed again, looking concerned.

"Nothing is wrong DanielJackson. I will take my leave now," he turned back to Jack. "I will seek my revenge O'Neill. When you are least prepared." With that said, the Jaffa turned and left the room.

"What's going on!" Daniel asked for the third time, looking annoyed.

"I think I need a new pair of pants," Jack muttered. Daniel raised his eyebrows, a thought crossing his mind.

"YOU took Teal'cs ice cream? Jack, are you insane!" he exclaimed. Jack shrugged.

"I felt like some ice cream. The stuff in the commissary is crap. I wanted some good stuff!" he explained sheepishly. Daniel shook his head.

"He is gonna get you good!" he said laughing. Jack glared at his 'so called' friend.

"Shut up," he muttered.

"Oh, don't be such a baby. Now, come on, let's go get you changed!" Jack followed the laughing archaeologist out the door, muttering under his breath.


	2. Revenge Is Nigh

Jack sat in the Briefing Room with his team mates. Teal'c sat across from him, glaring at him.

No words were needed. Jack knew what Teal'c was trying to tell him. _Revenge is nigh. _Oh yeah, Jack knew.

Daniel watched the two of them with a smirk on his face, while Sam frowned at them.

"Okay Major Davis, why don't you tell us what this is all about?" General Hammond asked as he sat down in his chair. Jack sat up straighter, suddenly becoming aware of the Major's presence.

"Yes sir," Davis stood up and started handing out papers to the group while he talked. "Approximately three days ago, I was contacted by a man named Charles Price. He knew who I was and where I worked," the Major paused to take his seat, then continued. "He also knew all about the Stargate program. Everything about the Stargate program!"

"How did he get such information?" Sam asked, frowning as she flipped through the pages. Davis shook his head.

"I have no idea. He isn't interested in taking it to the press. Nor does he want money or anything," Davis explained.

"What does he want Major?" Hammond questioned.

"He wants to talk to me in person sir. I don't know what about, but he insists on it. He will only talk to me though. No one else."

"What does the president say?" Daniel asked, a frown covering his face. Davis smiled slightly.

"He said I should do it. See what this guy wants. But he, naturally, wants a group to come with me for back up," he said, his smile growing wider. Hammond nodded.

"Okay Major. SG 1 will go with you. When are you supposed to meet?"

"Two days from now sir," Davis answered. Hammond nodded again.

"Alright. SG 1, assemble whatever you have to for this mission. Dismissed." Jack watched Hammond stand, then went to stand himself, only to find he couldn't. Frowning, he tried again.

It was as if his pants were stuck to the seat.

"Jack? What's wrong?" Daniel asked, frowning. Jack tried to get up again, frustration boiling over him.

"I can't get up!" he exclaimed.

"What do you mean you can't get up?" Daniel's frown grew deeper.

"I mean I can't get up you idiot! I'm stuck!" Jack growled in annoyance, then pulled with all his strength. A loud ripping sound was heard, and suddenly Jack was free. His foot, however, chose that moment to come in contact with a strategically placed wet patch on the floor, and Jack went sliding backwards. Daniel made a grab for him, missing by mere millimetres. He watched in part shock, part horror, part amusement as Jack slipped into his chair and toppled over the back of it, landing on his stomach. He had never seen Jack do such a nice back flip before.

Jack's groan echoed throughout the silent room. He felt a cool breeze against his butt, and realised the chair had ripped the back of his pants off. Of course, this was the one day Jack had decided to go commando.

The silence was interrupted by a loud, booming laughter that was rarely heard. Jack knew that laughter. It was the laughter of a man who had just extracted revenge. Teal'cs laughter. Jack groaned again.


	3. An Unexpected Arrival

Jack walked with his head held high, daring anyone to mess with him. Teal'c had just embarrassed him, but he wasn't gonna let it get to him. Nope. Definitely not.

Okay, he wanted revenge. He wanted it bad. But he knew that if he tried anything on Teal'c, he would just get it back twice as bad. A thought crossed his mind, and he smiled evilly. Reynolds. Of course. He had thought it before, but had forgotten it once he realised Teal'c wasn't going to kill him. If Reynolds hadn't ratted him out, then none of this would have happened. Oh yeah, he was gonna get Reynolds, he thought as he entered his office. The calendar caught his eye, making him smile again. Tomorrow was April Fool's. The perfect day to extract revenge. He laughed to himself. Oh yes, Colonel David Reynolds was gonna get it.

Jacks plan of revenge wasn't as evil as he had hoped. He was intending to do something to embarrass him till the end of time, but, Jack being Jack, had started to watch the big game, and had forgotten to plan for it. He had ended up grabbing a bucket, intending to do the old 'bucket on top of the door' gag. It wasn't that embarrassing, but it was the best he could come up with. Now, if he had asked Daniel, he probably could have found out some old prank that the Babylonians used to do, but he was avoiding talking to his friends at all cost. They had laughed at his embarrassment, and Jack thought that deserved some sulking time.

The sound of the gate spinning brought his attention back to reality. He was sitting in the control room, contemplating his revenge, and avoiding most people at all costs. Walter had given him a few funny looks but had said nothing.

"What have we got Walter?" Jack asked, jumping up and walking towards the Sergeant as the event horizon burst out.

"I don't know sir…wait! It's the Kelownans!" he exclaimed. Jack scowled. Great. He really didn't like that planet. First, they get Daniel killed, then they bicker like school children instead of listening.

"Open the iris," Jack said, albeit somewhat grudgingly. Walter nodded, and opened the iris. Jack glared at the Stargate, waiting for the obnoxious people to waltz through. Thankfully, Jonas Quinn walked through instead. And he was alone. Jack grinned, and quickly made his way to greet the alien.

"Jonas!" he exclaimed as he entered the gate room. Jonas grinned at the sight of his former commander.

"Colonel O'Neill! Long time no see!" he said, taking in the sight of the SGC.

"Mr Quinn! Welcome back!" General Hammond greeted Jonas as he walked into the gate room.

"Thankyou sir, its good to be back," Jonas bit his lip thoughtfully for a second. "General, I'm here to request asylum. My people…I'm sick of them, they are going to kill themselves and I don't want to be there when it happens!" Hammond nodded.

"Of course Jonas. Come on, lets go make ourselves a bit more comfortable."

"So, Jonas, we can't really give you your old job, now that Daniel is back and all," Jack informed the alien as they sat down in the Briefing Room. Sam had followed them in and nodded in agreement.

"Oh, I'm aware of that Colonel. I don't want the job anyway. In fact, I don't even want to work here!" Jonas informed them. Hammond frowned.

"I'm sorry, I don't follow you Mr Quinn," he said slowly.

"I want to work at Burger King!" Jonas exclaimed, smiling at the three faces in front of him. They stared back at him with dumbfounded looks on their faces.

"I'm sorry, I had a bit of crazy in my ear, I thought you said you wanted to work at Burger King!" Jack said after a moment.

"I did!" Jonas confirmed.

"But...your job is to study civilisations and stuff!" Jack exclaimed.

"What sort of civilisation would you study there?" Sam wondered out loud. The three men stared at her in shock.

"My god, Carter just said something blond!" Jack hissed.

"Did I say that out loud!" Sam said in horror.

"Jonas, why on Earth would you want to work in a fast food restaurant?" Hammond quizzed.

"It looks like fun! And you get free food!" Jonas said happily.

"I know what this is! You know the date! You know it's April Fools, don't you!" Jack said suddenly, a suspicious look crossing his face. Jonas frowned, and shook his head.

"No Colonel, I really want to do this!" he insisted. Hammond shook his head.

"I'm going to have to consult the president about this," he muttered, standing up. "I have to prepare for a briefing with SG2. Dismissed." A grin crossed Jack's face at the mention of SG2. This was his chance to extract revenge. He stood up slowly; making sure his pants weren't stuck to the chair, then went to get his plan in motion.


	4. Oops!

Jack sat, watching the door. SG2 was due any second now. If he knew David Reynolds, and he did, quite well, then he was certain that Reynolds would be the first one in. A smile spread across Jack's face in anticipation. Oh yes. This was going to be fun.

Two minutes later, the door opened, and, just as he had expected, Reynolds walked through the door. Jack watched with glee as the bucket atop the door wobbled. His glee disappeared when the bucket didn't fall. Damnit!

Major Paul Davis followed Reynolds, his hands full with the details about the following mission. Jack watched in horror as Davis knocked the door handle with his elbow, and the bucket came crashing down, effectively soaking the Major. Of course, that was not all that happened. Davis let out a surprised yelp, dropping the papers to the floor. Major Griff was right behind him, and hadn't seen Davis stop. He ran into the back of him, then stumbled back slightly. Jack watched as Griff's feet slipped on the puddle of water, and he knocked into Davis once again. Davis slipped, smacking his head on the door handle. Reynolds reached out to grab him, but also slipped on the water, his left foot flinging up. It connected with Davis's face, and Jack winced as the Major went down, and didn't get back up. Hammond had watched the scene from the doorway of his office, shaking his head slowly. He suddenly turned to face Jack, a knowing, and angry look covering his face. Jack slowly stood, biting his lip nervously as the General started to turn a nice shade of red.

"April Fools!" he said uncertainly. Oh yeah O'Neill, that was smart.

"Colonel O'Neill!" Hammond roared. Jack winced. This was it, he thought. Hammond is finally gonna kill me.

A/N – Yeah, sorry this is a bit short, but I'm a bit stuck at the moment! Will continue soon!


	5. Why Me?

"What the hell were you thinking!" Hammond yelled. Jack studied his hands intently, avoiding Hammond's death glare at all costs. He felt like he was back in Mr Petersons Year 4 class again, getting told off for hanging Billy Sayers upside down out the 4 storey window.

"I was just trying to pull a prank on Colonel Reynolds," Jack answered softly. Hammond snorted.

"Well, that little prank ended up with Major Davis being in the infirmary with a broken nose and concussion! Major Davis! One of our most important officers let me remind you!" Hammond raged. Jack cringed.

"It wasn't meant to get him," Jack defended pitifully.

"Well, it did! You do realise that Major Davis was meant to pull off a major operation tomorrow! He is in no condition to do that now! If he doesn't show up, the man could uncover the entire Stargate Program! Did you realise _that _Colonel?" Hammond snapped. "You're lucky I don't have you court marshalled."

"I'm sorry sir, it wasn't meant to hurt anyone," Jack muttered. Oh yeah. Year 4 all over again. Hammond sighed, taking a seat.

"Why did you do it Jack?" he asked, rubbing his forehead.

"Reynolds sold me out to Teal'c about his ice cream! You saw what T did to me! I needed to extract my revenge! I wanted to humiliate him like he did to me!" Jack exclaimed. Hammond smiled scornfully.

"So you decided to dump a bucket of water over his head?" he questioned. Jack nodded vigorously. Hammond shook his head, smiling slightly. "You're lucky you're my favourite Colonel, Jack. Otherwise I would kick your ass so hard you wouldn't be able to sit for a month. Now get the hell out of here. I have to figure out what to do with tomorrow's mission."

"Yes sir," Jack mumbled. He stood up, and quickly made his way towards the door.

"Oh and Colonel," Hammond called. Jack turned around to face his CO. "Next time, don't use the bucket on top of the door prank. That is _so _20 years ago. Find something new." Jack smirked slightly. Hammond was still the coolest General around.

"Yes sir," he repeated, smiling as he left the room. Hammond rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair.

"Why me?" he muttered.

Jack sat in Daniel's lab, biting his fingernails nervously. He may have single-handedly ruined the Stargate Program. You knew this would happen, he chastised himself. As soon as you were given the command to lead SG 1, you said you would be the one to ruin it.

"Yeah, I remember you saying that," Jack yelped, then turned to face the sudden voice. Daniel was standing in the doorway, staring at him. It was not a happy look on his face.

"Huh?" Jack spluttered. Daniel moved towards him slowly.

"I remember you saying that," he repeated. Jack suddenly realised he had spoken his earlier thoughts out loud.

"Oh. Well, it's true," he muttered. Daniel rolled hi eyes.

"Jack, what were you thinking!" he exclaimed.

"Oh no, don't you start!" Jack said defensively, jumping to his feet. "I got enough from Hammond. Oh, and every single person I passed in the hallway!"

"Well, you deserved it! Major Davis is going to be out of commission for a little while, and that fact has quite a few people worried!" Daniel said wildly. Jack groaned. Why oh why did he have to hurt Davis. He couldn't have got some one less important, like Griff. Or Reynolds, he thought darkly.

"And by the way, General Hammond has figured out what to do about tomorrow's mission," Daniel said, somewhat sarcastically. Jack squirmed. Judging from the death glare Daniel was giving him, Jack had a feeling he wouldn't like what he was about to hear. He also felt that Daniel was not a happy camper.

"What?" Jack squeaked.

"He decided that, since this Charles Price would only talk to Major Davis, then we needed Major Davis. He also thought that Price would know what Paul looked like, so he has requested that the mimic devices that the aliens used in the foothold situation four years ago, and again last year,"

"And?" Jack prompted, fearing the worst.

"And, and it's a big and! And, one of us must be the person to impersonate him! Seeing Sam is a bit too feminine in the way she walks and talks, she is out. Unless we want Major Davis to get a bit of a…weird reputation, of course. Teal'c is also a bad idea because…well, he's Teal'c. So that leaves us two," Daniel said, his glare deepening. Jack swallowed. He had a feeling what Daniel was going to say.

"And?" Jack repeated a bit softer this time.

"And! And both Hammond and the President agree that you are too much of a freaking idiot to pull off this job, so I am the one to do it!"

"They used those words exactly?" Jack questioned, regretting it instantly. Daniel's eyes flashed angrily as he took a few more steps forward, effectively pinning Jack into the corner.

"Damnit Jack! I don't want to do this! It's creepy! It's weird! I feel like I'm invading Paul somehow! And plus, anything could go wrong! I could act wrong, and end up dead! But because of your incompetence, I have to do this!" Daniel raged, waving his hands in this air. Jack winced. This was it, he thought. Daniel is finally gonna kill me. "And you haven't even apologized to Paul yet! Or to Janet for that matter, for giving her an unnecessary patient! And what's worse, you didn't even consult me about the prank! I could have created a much better one then the one you did! That is _so _1985! So, if anything goes wrong Jack, I'm blaming you!" Daniel poked Jack's chest for dramatic effect, before turning on his heel and leaving the room. Jack watched him go, pouting. He seemed to be in everybody's bad books recently. And for what? Stealing some ice cream? Breaking someone's nose? Screwing up a mission? Pissing Daniel off?

He had endured some pain too! Everyone had either seen or heard about his ass bearing accident in the briefing room!

"Haven't I suffered enough!" he yelled, raising his fists in the air, like he had seen so many times in the movies.

"Not even close!" Jack turned to find Sam in the doorway, a look of evil covering her face. Here we go again, Jack thought, sighing.

"With all due respect sir, what the hell were you thinking you retard!" she exclaimed. Jack sighed again, a familiar thought crossing his mind. This was it, he thought. Carter is finally gonna kill me.

Jack sat in the commissary, smacking his head repeatedly against a table. This was calming, he thought. Compared to what he had been through today. People he didn't even know had come over to give him a piece of their mind! Even Siler had given him a disapproving look. Siler! He had only given a guy a broken nose, for crying out loud! It wasn't like he had stolen candy from a baby! Although that would have been a walk in the park compared to this!

"Colonel O'Neill!" A sharp voice interrupted his head banging. Jack inwardly groaned. Here we go again.

"Yes?" he said coolly, raising his head slowly from the table. To his surprise, Major Davis was standing next to him, with an odd look on his face. Both his eyes were bruised, and his nose was swollen. Davis reminded him of a racoon. Jack suppressed a giggle at the thought.

"With all due respect sir, what the hell are you doing?" Davis questioned rubbing his bruised head in confusion.

"I should ask you the same question Major!" Jack exclaimed.

"Sir?"

"What the hell are you doing out of the infirmary!" Jack quizzed the befuddled Major.

"Dr Fraiser let me go. I was stealing the other patient's jello," Davis answered, sitting across from Jack.

"That's what Daniel does to get out of there," Jack mused. Davis smiled.

"I know. That's why I did it," he admitted. Jack grinned. "So, I ask again, what the hell are you doing?"

"Beating myself senseless! It's actually quite soothing," Jack said smiling. Davis nodded.

"I see," he reached into his pocket and brought out a chocolate bar.

"Peace offering?" he said, handing it to Jack.

"What?" Jack asked, frowning.

"This is so you stop feeling guilty, and so I don't have to stay pissed at you. Now give me your jello. You have to keep up your end of the offering, you know!" Jack handed his jello over, smiling. Figures. The one person who should be pissed at him wasn't.

"Oh and by the way sir?" Davis continued, digging into the blue jello. "Bucket on the door? Get a new prank! Honestly, that is _so _last century!" Jack rolled his eyes. Typical.

Author's Note – Thankyou for the review's people! I promise to have more soon!


	6. The End Of All Things

Wow...I was meant to finish this months ago, but I kinda got sidetracked...but I finished it today and I'm happy! Does anybody remember this one? Prolly not but still!Please read and review and I love you! Squee!

I do not own Stargate/actors/characters, but I do wish I owned Daniel Jackson or Michael Shanks...sigh, that would be the best!

* * *

"So…tell me again why I'm dressed up as a pimp?"

"Because, sir, it is a good cover," Sam answered patiently. Jack rolled his eyes, glancing around the area.

"I don't see any other pimps around here Carter! Nor do I see any road workers for that matter…Teal'c and I look like rejects from the Village People!"

"Jack, if that was true, you would be dressed up as a cowboy, not a pimp." Jack glanced at his best friend, then did a double take, forgetting for a moment that Daniel was Davis.

"I think that Davis could fit in with the Village People," he muttered under his breath. Daniel gave him a warning glare.

"I believe that you could too O'Neill, but only when you are attired as your normal self." It was Jack's turn to give the warning glare, this time is Teal'c's direction. Sam snickered behind her hand, then covered it up as a cough.

"I had something in my throat sir."

"Of course you did Carter."

"We're here," Daniel's soft words brought Jack's mind back to the mission. He straightened slightly, adjusting his fur coat and hat. Sam fixed her scarf while Teal'c finished his ice cream. "Okay guys, look busy."

"On it." Jack wandered over to the corner, dragging Sam along with him. "Hooker! Anybody want a hooker?"

"_Sir!" _Sam shrieked, recoiling in horror as people stopped to stare. Jack glared at her, causing Sam to flush. "I mean…continue…I guess."

"Thankyou…_hooker!"_

"I require a hooker, unidentified stranger," Teal'c bellowed, walking up to the two. Jack grinned widely at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah…I want one too," a nervous man muttered discreetly. Teal'c glared at the man.

"I have already claimed her as my own. I suggest you find another woman to buy…leave _us!"_

Daniel watched the man scamper off, shaking his head at the scene being played out in front of him. He couldn't believe that he had just witnessed Teal'c saying the word hooker.

"Major Davis?"

Daniel continued to watch his friends, still shaking his head. Sam was now strutting for Teal'c's amusement, while Jack clapped along, looking giddy.

"_Major Davis!"_

"Oh!" Daniel whirled around, suddenly remembering why they were here. A man stood in front of him, looking dishevelled. He was slightly older then Paul, and his eyes were wild. "Mr Price, I presume."

"Don't presume, Major Davis, you know it's me."

"Yes sir…what can I do for you?"

"Do you remember Lindsay Green?" Price asked after a minute. Daniel frowned. Lindsay? Paul had never mentioned her.

"…no sir."

"Don't play dumb with me Paul, you know her! You had an affair with her for three months!" Daniel's eyebrows shot up at this. There was some new information.

"What does this have to do with what we discussed on the phone Mr Price?"

"Not a damn thing…I have been watching you for years, waiting for the perfect moment… I just knew that the only way to get you alone would be to pretend that it had something to do with your Stargate program!"

"Why did you want to get me alone, Mr Price?" Daniel was starting to feel nervous.

"Because you stole my girlfriend from me…and you're going to pay for that!"

Oh yeah, Daniel thought. He was in big trouble.

Not knowing what to do, Daniel did the first thing that came to mind.

"I want a hooker!" he screamed. Price gave him an odd look, then shrugged as Daniel started to back away. Just as Price was pulling a gun out of his coat, Jack was pulling one out of his pants, realising that Daniel was in trouble. Either that, or he was horny.

Jack whirled around and pulled the trigger three times, hitting Price square in the chest. The man dropped to the ground, and everyone around them stopped and stared.

Jack glanced at them warily, then put his gun back into his pants.

"He owed this pimp some money," he explained lamely. The lady closest to him started to scream, and was closely followed by the rest of the crowd. Jack tuned to the others, a frown covering his face as Daniel walked up. "Not convincing enough?"

"A bit _too _convincing," Daniel muttered. Teal'c inclined his head, then turned to Sam.

"Major Carter, I still 'have' you for another hour."

"Teal'c, I was only joking about that," Sam said after a beat. Teal'c merely smiled.

"Complete your dance."

"Teal'c-"

"I require it!"

* * *

"Well, despite a few…mishaps, I think that the last couple of days went great!" Sam said brightly.

"Indeed…April Fools is most amusing," Teal'c said, raising an eyebrow at Jack. "As was Major Carter's dance."

"Can we not talk about that?" Sam muttered. Teal'c smiled.

"As you wish."

"Yes, it was great…can we eat now?"

"Jack, we have to wait for the food to be served," Daniel said patiently. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Jonas! Hurry it up!"

"I'm coming sir!"

"So is Christmas!"

"I can't believe that all this was because Major Davis had an affair with some woman," Sam said after a moment's silence.

"I know!"

"I think this is a mission that shouldn't…be talked about too much," Jack muttered, glaring at the fur coat that sat next to him. The other's had changed, but hadn't let him for obvious reasons. As if he hadn't been embarrassed enough.

"Okay!" Jonas raced from behind the counter, attired in the usually Burger King uniform. "This is just as fun as I thought it would be!"

"I'm…glad you are enjoying yourself."

"Enjoying myself? Daniel, this is incredible! I mean, I know I've only been doing it for an hour but…wow! Daniel, you should do this!"

"Yeah, I'm sure Daniel will be giving up his rocks for this any moment now…can I please have my food?" Jack exclaimed. Jonas looked at him for a moment, and then his eyes widened.

"Oh! Of course!" he raced back over to the counter and picked up a tray. "I made it myself Colonel, just for you!"

The tray was set down in front of him, and Jack looked down at it in distaste. It was possibly the most unappealing burger he had ever witnessed and he was pretty sure he would die if he even touched it.

"You…made that?" Sam asked after a moment. Jonas nodded.

"Of course I'm only learning…but I think it looks great! What do you think Colonel?"

Jack continued to look at the burger, not saying anything. "Colonel O'Neill?"

"Jack? Aren't you going to eat the food that Jonas cooked just for you?" Daniel asked pointedly. Jack ignored his friend. As he looked at the burger, a familiar thought entered his mind.

This is it, he thought. Jonas is finally gonna kill me.


End file.
